plates & crabs

take a plate. 

now drop it. 

what happens?

say "sorry"

did it fix the plate?

...

have you ever noticed when crabs are in a bucket there's always a smart one who works its way on top and tries to get out. but there's always a brat crab who pulls them back down because if brat crab can't get out no one can. 

...

I like to think of relationships as plates and crabs. Maybe it's because some part of my soul is meant to be on the East Coast going to lobster bakes every weekend or something. But I think that relationships are much like plates. Painted plates really. Every experience is something a new stroke of paint on there. Once you break the other person's trust, you can decide if you want to spend the time and effort to glue together all the shards you now have. Knowing that you might end up bleeding in the process. Because just saying "I'm sorry" doesn't fix anything I've learned. It's only a band-aid to cover up a problem you both are hoping just goes away. 

I can count on one hand how many boys I've said the "L" word to. It's a big deal to me and not something to be taken lightly. If I love you, I'm willing to let you see me cry, to hold me when I'm upset and let you into the deepest darkest corners of myself. So when my heart is broken, it's really hard for me to let the same person back in. I mean why would I? You know exactly how and where to kick me to hurt me the most. What's even worse is when you do take those jabs to purposely hurt me.

Break ups are like crabs. At the end of a broken relationship you have two options. Sit and wallow for months and months or clean up your face and find yourself a new happy. I think in most cases the break up-er is usually the first one to move on, and the break up-ee is the one trying to get them back. At least that's what I've noticed in my personal experience. But this time it was the exact opposite. I wasn't going to sit around being the "best friend in the friend zone" I was going to find my new happy. And I think I did, I found someone who I could have quite possibly been happy with. But I didn't choose him. 

I chose the one person who broke me, fought dirty, made me cry on PI day in HAWAII on SPRING BREAK.

I chose this. 

our kids will obviously have Asian eyes..

Here's to seeing where this wild ride takes us.