tinder, take one

Tinder became the hot new thing while I was in a relationship. I knew it was there but out of respect to him, I didn't get one. Until I realized he already got one.. and had been matching with other girls. So I got my own tinder. A few swipes to the right later and I met some really nice guys. Of course I never hung out with any of them, it was just fun and something the boy and I laughed about.

Fast forward to this last Tuesday, I was at a friends house and her friend came over and was talking about all the tinder woes he was dealing with. I thought to myself. "Why not?" So I redownloaded it and got to swiping. This guy named Collin (I think..) started talking to me. He seemed nice but sorta pushy. Like "lets hang out tonight from 7-10!" I mean I got off work at 7.. and I didn't really have much to do anyways, and I'm trying to be adventurous here..so why not right? I mean, I do what I want! So seven rolled around and he was really weird about it. Like "what do you wanna do?? we can watch a movie here in my apartment..I have the place to myself! but I don't have a car so..." And I'm thinking "oh my god..you asked me to hang out. I guess I can drive.." I went to Lauren's apartment and just hung out and told her all my tindering stories and we had a solid laugh. 

So I drive to this apartment complex and this not too skinny but skinnier than my usual liking guy comes out. He's not bad looking but something about him is just goofy looking. But he seems harmless enough. We went to sodalicious (which is delicious by the way) and then back to his apartment. I sit on one end of the couch and he comes and sits next to me. Like there's still room between us and I'm thinking "Thank god...please don't touch me." Then he scoots over so he's like practically SITTING ON MY LAP. I tried to get my drink and he wrapped his arms around me and at first started to scratch my back. I'm all for back scratches. Then we started talking about school and his mission. Which is kinda weird for me since I've never really had anyone be really interested in my major, who gets me because they're in the exact same position. This college boy thing is strange.. So he's being awkward and then he starts playing with the tear in my leggings. Um HELLO?? you're going to make it bigger. Then he starts rubbing his hand up and down my leg and he's trying to hold my hand at the same time. Then he takes my rings off and is just being AWKWARD. This entire time I'm just sitting here trying not to laugh because he's honestly trying to be....friendly. 

It turns out that Colton* served in the same exact mission as Kelsey did. Like he was there when she showed up to the office when she first got there. Small world eh?

Eventually he starts asking about my tinder experience. So i just told him that I recently got it because I'm a new found single woman. So then he was like "Oh my gosh! Tell me everything!!" I gave him like a 30-second condensed version of it because A. You don't really care. B. I don't know you. and C. No. 

Then his flirt game was amped up and he was pulling out all the stops. It was kind of hilarious. He literally got so close to kissing me so many times and I could see him from the corner of my eye so I would just get really into the T.V. hahahahah. Then he decided that he was going for it. Brushed my hair out of my face and said "Maybe this will help you forget about your boyfriend." Then he solidified everything I thought I knew about BYU RM's. They're horny, cheesey, awful kissers. 

I finally understand the beauty of NCMO's. And I can't say that it was awful. (the kissing was, but the idea was great.) here's to giving this tinder thing a shot.