G R O W T H

There is something kind of neat you discover about yourself when you are forced into dealing with hardship.

Sixteen year old me ran away when she felt things were getting too serious. She ran away with no real explanation that was owed to someone who treated her wonderfully. 

Eighteen year old me got upset and kissed his best friend. Even though it was a joke of a relationship, no one deserves to have that happen. But at the time, I didn't care. I'm not proud of this, but I was intentionally trying to hurt him because he hurt me first. I wanted to have the last word. 

Twenty year old me understands where he is coming from, confused why he chose to act the way he did, but accepting that things happen for a reason. There's a reason I get to figure myself out right now. I want to take my twenties by the balls and make the most of them. And maybe that means I get to fly solo for a little. Maybe it's time I get to fall in love with myself, power yoga and statistics. The new me really hopes for the best last little bit of senior year for him and as T Swift once said "I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day" because sunshine and clear skies mean it's perfect motorcycle weather. There is no part of me that wants to hurt him as bad as he hurt me because there is nothing for me to gain from it. I get nothing except knowing that I am just as immature as I once was. Isn't this whole "growing up" thing about dealing with shitty situations in a new and improved way?

Here's to staying classy, mature, and only letting your mom and best friend see your crazy side. 

H A W A I I

hawaii is simply beautiful. everything from the muggy air to the coast line is marvelous. i plan on returning with someone to cuddle me under the stars and kiss my forehead at the top of Koko head. as you're descending you look out the window and all you see is green. green, a strip of gold and endless miles of blue. that's the moment hawaii stole my heart.

because Hawaii welcomes all

this is at an overlook. the fog made it feel so surreal. on a clear day you can see the entire island.

iced black tea with lily koi jelly. superb. 

the cute coffee shop that Britt works at at the WCC

this is sprunch. half sprite half fruit punch. it's the craze.

 Day one: Britt and Noa picked me up from the airport and it was the craziest thing in the world. I have never been anywhere so humid. It felt like I was swimming just trying to breathe. It rained in honolulu but when we made it to kilua town it was still cloudy but warm. We had lunch at this cute cafe where a girl complemented my slippers, to which i looked at her like she was crazy because I was in my chacos.  not slippers. then I realized that slippers and sandals are the same thing.. woops. then we went to Noa's.. and FHE and then to Auntie Cindy's. Hawaiian mormons are so much nicer. I am a child of God on the ukulele and a bon fire? Yes please.

this was literally outside my window

the jungle was the back yard. literally. 

#selfie

this was the view from the top of the driveway

Our adventure for the day was electric bike riding around Laniki.
shaka brah

                                         

flowers in our hair and bike rides. 

breakfast at cinnamon's. deelish. 

snippets along the way to north shore

passion fruit. they have fresh fruit stands all over the place. it's amazing.

the end of the road leads to this. 

selfies for days

this is hawaii. swimsuits, sandy feet out the window.

best friend & sunset beach. 

sunset beach to end the day was beautiful. 

We did it all on day two. Electric bike riding, three beaches. One of them being SHARKS COVE. Historic north shore, laniki juice, north east shore (BYU-H) and the end of the road. We hit like three beaches and then called it a day.

botanical gardens 

welcome to the most raw place in the world.

light house hike/walk

koko head!

there are "turn back now" signs all up until the actual trail. 

before picture. 

there must have been a lot of effort put into this graffiti since it takes so long to get to the top. 

we did it!

candid. 

on top of hawaii!

Sandy's beach to lay out after hiking all morning

then we went to the WCC to learn about stars. 

then we broke the car after we bought tickets to the PCC the next day.. woops.
this is the longest adventure of the week.

Day three was full of hiking and beaches. When we told locals that we were doing both hikes in the same day, they all thought we were crazy. But the light house one was literally a walk. Koko head was harder but it was so fun! The scariest part was going across the bridge on the way down. Your legs feel all jelly like and you're scared you're going to fall through the planks. Then on our way to dinner we broke the car by hitting a median. So then we had to sleep over at Noa's that night. Britt worked the next day and Noa's mom let her take the car to work while me and Noa ventured off into the ghettos of Hawaii to find four new rims and tires. Aloha spirit at its finest.

PCC show

Day four: While britt was at work, Noa and I went and  found a tire set and then he got to work. After a long day we finally made it to the PCC. we were super late so we only got to go to two villages and then we had spaghetti for dinner.. so that was a little lame. But Ha (that was the name of the actual show) was really good! So that made up for our $60.00 spaghetti. The car was still rattling too much so we took it back to Noa's to see what was going on. We ended up staying the night there anyways. 

nutella crepes for breakfast!

Pie day was ruined. But that's a story for another day.

beach bumming 

Day five: After all the commotion that had occurred, we decided that we needed some salt water therapy. we woke up, got food, then we had  ourselves a Maui beach babe day. We had dinner that night with one of her friends. We had true Hawaiian food. It was good but looked a lot different than I was used to. Then we got cocoa puffs because it's almost impossible to be sad when you're eating those.  

Day six: It was a little hard to be as carefree my last day there. But real life is everywhere, it doesn't matter if you're in Hawaii or Utah, it will catch up to you and bite you in the ass hard. We woke up and tried to see the sun rise but it was raining so we went back to bed. When we woke up, we went to the swamp meet and I finally got me a pair of Hawaii sandals! we walked the entire thing then went to Thai for lunch and it was delicious. Then we went to some little strip mall with the most amazing book store I've ever seen. It was literally covered from wall to floor in books! Used books!! There were stacks all over and it was just beautiful. There is something so healing about books. We decided that we were going to walk the strip in Waikiki that night but it was so windy we decided to stay home. So we red boxed movies, got dressed up, picked up a pizza and had girls night and started to pack up because my flight was Sunday morning. 

Day seven: We woke up, went to the airport and off I went. The airport people are a lot nicer in Hawaii than they were in Utah. I got boarded without a problem and met a girl on my row. The kid sitting next to me was a little monster and his parents didn't say a thing. He was kicking and being annoying all six hours. When I landed in LAX, I called my mom because I wanted to talk to her. She was really one of my rocks when this all happened. But that too is another post all together. My mom really is wonderful though. I had a three hour lay over in LA, I was seriously DYING to come home at that point. Finally 7 had rolled around and I was headed home. To my own bed, my own house, and my momma.. Both my parents and my sister were at the airport when I got there and I just started bawling when I hugged my mom. That was when I knew I was safe, home, and that I would really be okay.

All in all, my trip was so  much fun. I loved Hawaii and it really taught me a lot about myself. Can't wait for my next adventure.